Quote of the break

"Some people need an Intoxilyzer installed on their computers."
- Ex.Coll.

Yes, I'm actually quoting myself, how sad.

What may be even sadder that that I've typed that very sentence in not one, but two emails I sent this evening. I don’t know if that speaks more about me or my circle of friends.

I fear I already know the answer.

Airing of Grievances

Here are just a few people/things I have problems with:

Dean Ramos –I really miss Dean Aleman. She was no much more reasonable. This guy’s an ass. Posters only on the handful of approved locations, screwing with the final exam policies, and I’m sure he’s done other stuff that pisses me off. He did a good job as Dean of Admissions, after all, he accepted me.

Dean Sager – a truly inept dean. For further commentary check out my archive.

The SBA – the most worthlessest organization ever conceived by self-important law students.

Elevator Riders – please, and this really should be common sense, when you are going to get into an elevator, wait to make sure there is no one getting out before you try to get in. I find this a particular problem in the elevator next to Sager's office.

Bad Christmas Gifts – You know I was going to create a post about the worst gifts to give law students. Despite my research (and finding truly atrocious gifts for law students such as this and this), I never got off my ass to actually do it. I’m glad, because my boss gave be a terrible gift that I would have never thought to include on the list. A photo of it is below.

People Who Bitch When They Really Have No Reason To (and yes, I know I am the leader in this category) – I assume most of the half dozen readers who stumble across this blog are law students. We really don’t have a lot to bitch about. We have an opportunity that a lot of people in the country would love to have and should appreciate that fact.

final (?) disctraction

Well, kids, my finals are over. What does that mean? Now that I don't have much to b distracted from, I've somewhat lost my motivation for posting distractions. BUt don't worry, I'm working on a nice rant to post soon.

Until then, I leave you The Impossible Quiz.

Well played, Sager

In an effort to avoid studying, I came across this article in Texas Lawyer regarding the tuition rate increases at the Law School.

Here are just a couple excerpts I found interesting:
“Some of the money generated by the tuition increases would go for scholarships and student loan repayment assistance ‘to soften the burden on students with the greatest need, while sticking it to others whom our computers say can pay for this’ he [Sager] says.”

Ok, I added the last part of the Sager quote. I do have to compliment him on his strategy. He knew a lot of students would be pissed at the tuition rate increase, but that the majority of those students would also be interested in an LRAP. So he got the best of both worlds by proposing an increase that’s more than he needs in order to throw a few bucks over to the LRAP and shutting up the most vocal opponents. I find it interesting that there aren’t any details floating around about this “LRAP,” not even here. I wonder if this LRAP will at least cover the increased tuition.
.........................

“Even with the proposed increases, UT law school's tuition and fees will not be as high as some of the institutions it considers to be peers.”

Not Harvard or Yale. See analysis.
.........................

“McKen Carrington, dean of Texas Southern University Thurgood Marshall School of Law, says his school's current tuition rates are $11,528 for residents and $15,278 for nonresidents. Carrington says the school probably will request "modest increases" but has not come up with specific figures yet.”

I’m just glad that at least one of the two schools with a lower bar passage is cheaper than UT.

.........................

“’We have no idea whether the regents will approve this,’ Sager says of the law school's proposal.”

Sager, if this is true, you are even more inept than I thought. Seriously, you are putting all your tuition eggs in one basket and don’t even know if the regents will approve of this. I know you can’t expect anything from them with certainty, but to have “no idea” is insane. Let’s say your fiefdom is dealt a blow by the regents and shoots down your tuition proposal. Do you mean to say that you are willing to wait another couple years to get this passed? Ask anyone who’s ever done a budget proposal, you don’t ask for approval not having any idea on whether it will pass.
.........................

Well played, Elf Moneybags. Well played indeed. At least well played against the students. As for the regents, only time will tell.

Weekend Distraction

Given that the weekend is usually a distraction in and of itself, I didn't post a distraction. However, sensing that since finals resume on Monday, many people may be studying today, therefore, I give you the weekend distraction. This one comes from an odd place, NASA.

I'm not sure how distracting this will be, but go ahead, look for the teapot. [Note: I'm not sure if this will actually work here, you may have to click the link above and see the high-res version.]

" Explanation: Is this picture worth a thousand words? According to the Holographic Principle, the most information you can get from this image is about 3 x 10⁶⁵ bits for a normal sized computer monitor. The Holographic Principle, yet unproven, states that there is a maximum amount of information content held by regions adjacent to any surface. Therefore, counter-intuitively, the information content inside a room depends not on the volume of the room but on the area of the bounding walls. The principle derives from the idea that the Planck length, the length scale where quantum mechanics begins to dominate classical gravity, is one side of an area that can hold only about one bit of information. The limit was first postulated by physicist Gerard 't Hooft in 1993. It can arise from generalizations from seemingly distant speculation that the information held by a black hole is determined not by its enclosed volume but by the surface area of its event horizon. The term "holographic" arises from a hologram analogy where three-dimension images are created by projecting light though a flat screen. Beware, other people looking at the above image may not claim to see 3 x 10⁶⁵ bits -- they might claim to see a teapot."

Sorry about yesterday

I didn't get a chance to post a distraction. But I hope I'm making up for it with Turkey Bowling!

Thanks for the tip, C.

today's distraction

Maybe not as addicting as others, but should keep you busy for a while.

A productive distraction

Are you tired of reading that boring old outline for the 23^rd time? Do you wish you had someone to read it to you? How about loading it onto your iPod? Do you find that Speak-and-Spell voice engaging and dynamic?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, than this is for you.

It's Finals Time again

With Ruth's graduation, and Hawk McGee's premature retirement, it looks like it's falling on me to provide the UT law community a nice distraction.

Enjoy.

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Mid-Day Update

It’s 1:00, here’s how my day’s gone so far:

6:00 wake up ready to face the day

6:02 back to sleep

7:00 really wake up

7:30 get out of bed

8:30 out the door

9:00 hit the corner store, I got a long day of studying in front of me, I can be bothered with such trivialities as stopping to eat

9:20 library, time to check email, news and the blog roll

10:00 Uh-Oh… email from the boss, quick research assignment, shouldn’t take more than 10-20 minutes.

10:45 research done, include note that its time for finals – I can’t be bothered

11:00 reach my blog… man it’s been a long time since I’ve updated. I need to post a distraction

11:05 begin looking for a distraction

11:30 found a few good ones, but nothing quite good enough for my readers

11:40 bingo… found a good (enough) one, update blog

11:45 maybe the other UT bloggers have updated

12:00 Blues Bothers! (thanks Godel)

12:45 still watching BB clips – crap! is it 12:45 already?

12:47 okay, no more internet – time to hit the books

12:50 realize I forgot my outlines

Rest of the day: shot to hell

What The Fuck?

Sometimes the ubiquitous “WTF” or it’s variants (e.g. “W.T.F.”, “w-t-f”, etc.) just don’t quite capture the anger, outrage, and disgust you are trying to convey. Sometimes, at the risk of sounding crude or unrefined, you just have to say it in explicit language: What the Fuck.

“What the fuck” is what’s going through my head after seeing that “Professor Berman has been selected to receive the 2008 Texas Exes Teaching Award for having had a positive influence on the educational experience of university students at the school of law.”

How on Earth is this possible? I had the misfortune of suffering through his Con Law class when I was a 1L. Before taking his class, I actually enjoyed Con Law, now I’ll do anything to avoid anything even resembling it. I didn’t learn a singe thing in his class. I dreaded attending his class even on day’s it didn’t meet. It is easily the worst class, taught by the worst professor, I’ve ever had – and I had Contracts with Rau! At least with Rau I leaned a little about Law School. With Berman I got squat.

And I’m not the only one who felt this way. I cannot think of a single person in that class who actually thought it was a good class. Well, maybe one person (she pulled all the good posts, but you remember). Everyone in my small section who I’ve spoken to is in agreement: Berman was bad. Sure there are disagreements about who is good and bad. I liked Sharlot, but know others who didn’t. I couldn’t stand my Civ Pro prof (visiting from u of H), but some in my section actually sent a letter to Powers asking he be considered for a full-time position here. I could go on and on, but no one, and I mean no one, has ever told me they thought Berman was a good professor.

Seriously, how could Berman get any sort of recognition for “having had a positive influence on the educational experience of university students at the school of law”? Here are a few possibilities:

1) It’s a typo. They actually tried to spell Smith but if came out B-E-R-M-A-N.

2) One of the following is true: (a) “positive influence” in this context actually means “irreparable harm”; (b) “educational experience” in this context means “degradation of legal scholarship”; or “at the school of law” really means “at every other law school because of his presence here.”

3) April Fools’ day came late this year.

4) It’s in his contract that he's to get some sort of award regardless of teaching ability.

Then I saw it: Law Mail group: Student Government - SBA Student Contact: Lyons, Katherine J

The reason he got this award because it’s sponsored by SBA. The SBA is absolutely worthless and isn’t able to do anything right. There is no doubt in my mind that the SBA can, and will, fuck up everything it touches. Forget Sager, email SBA.

LRAP

As reported by Coleslaw, it looks like UT will soon be the owner of a bright, shiny, new LRAP program.

I’ve never been for an LRAP, and I’m still not. What I do find interesting is whether any of the soon to be in place tuition increase will go to that. If so, will the same people who were opposed to the in increase still feel that way and be as vocal about it.

Email from Dean Sager, annotated

To All Suckers--

Several of you have e-mailed me, raising questions or concerns about tuition. Please stop. I haven’t given much in the way of answers in the past (although I am getting better at making excuses) so why should I start now? I am writing to assure you that no decisions of any kind have been made concerning 2L or 3L tuition in 2008-2009, or 3L tuition in 2009-2010. Did you honestly think we would put that much work into this before we went public with it? Come on now, what school have you been attending?

No decisions will be made until we have begun the Spring Semester, and until there has been “consultation” with the student community, you know that worthless group of former student council members, the SBA. But don’t worry, we’ll wait until Spring Break or Finals time to “discuss” this in order to ensure you have plenty of other things on your mind.

Good luck on your examinations, and enjoy your holidays. Now quit emailing me.


--Larry “thinking twice” Sager
Dean and Chief Tuition Officer

free advice (and worth every penny)

It's the most crappiest time of the year (for law students).

There is no time worse than Fall Finals season. You have the stress of the 1Ls who have no idea what sort of mess they are in for. Add to that unemployed 2Ls who are trying to boost their GPA in an effort to improve their job prospects. Mix in the paranoid, employed 2Ls who think they might loose their job offer if they don't do well, or they want to improve their GPA to improve their job prospects for next year. Oh, and you have the unemployed 3Ls, who are stressed, but not due to finals, but due to lack of job. Once you have all that in one place you end up with the environment of stress. Those who have never experienced it probably don't know what stress in the air feels like. It feels like shit. My advice to all of you, especially 1Ls: get out. Find someplace else to study. Go to another library, an undergrad or even a community college. Find a park you can read at. Grab a bench on the Mall. Seriously, get out; You'll thank me for it.

Oh, and you could probably do well with a small distraction (Hawk introduced me to it, and it's still one of the best).

Tuition rate increases

By now, I’m sure you’ve heard of the forthcoming tuition rate increases. They suck, but they were expected.

When I was a 1L, I learned that the University (or was it the Law School?) was so “concerned” that tuition was rising that they imposed a three year freeze on tuition. “Great for me, sucks for the class of 09,” I thought. I was right. I assumed what the school did was raise it the year before by more than it needed and was going to really stick it to the students as soon as the 3 year freeze was over.

So now many people are pissed. I can’t really say I blame them, but maybe the school really does need to raise tuition. I have no idea if they “need” the money, but I do know, based on my current job situation, there are too many lawyers coming out of law school right now. Maybe I’m just being hypocritical since I won’t be affected by the increase, or maybe I’m bitter because I’m unemployed, or maybe I’m just spending too much time thinking about this because I don’t want to study, whatever the case, I’m tempted to just tell everyone bitching about it to get over it.

Schools do whatever the hell they want and they really don’t give a shit about you until you’re an alum and they can hit you up for $$$ (and tell you if you give, they won’t have to raise tuition). They already have you here and you most likely aren’t going anywhere; they have no reason to do a damn thing you ask for. As for the next wave of students, I doubt this will be a major concern given the majority of students are paying for school with loans. I know a lot of people are thinking how important cost in when choosing a school, and maybe for them it was a major factor. I do think a sizeable majority would still be at UT even if the cost of school was higher. I know I would.

That said, I probably will still send an email to Sager, complaining about the increase, the process, the “secrecy”, and whatever other talking points are circulating. Not because I care, and certainly not because I think it will make a damn bit of difference, but because I like to give Sager a hard time.

Holiday Greetings from UT Law

President Dean Powers, Dean Sager, and Profs. Rau and Young would like to express their best Holiday Wishes to everyone.

Has it really been over a week?

Don’t let the fact that I haven’t posted in a while lead you to the conclusion that I’ve been studying. I haven’t.
What have I been doing? Let’s just say I’ve been keeping myself busy.

Thanks Tech

Sure, your mascot may look a bit like Yosemite Sam on acid, and your band uniforms (esp. w/ the black jackets you wore last week) make you bear a striking resemblance to the Hamburglar, but you beat OU.
Thanks.

Stress Busters

Yesterday was Stress Busters day at the law school. I wonder how many other schools at the University anticipate their students will be so stressed out that there is a need for veggie trays, chair massages, and hot tea samples? Anyhow, amidst the stress balls and hand sanitizer there were plenty of recommendations on how to avoid stress and how to deal relieve stress in a healthy way.

Then there was the University Health Services table.

I believe they had the most useful information at the event. I guess you can call it a backup plan. Just in case meditating, sipping tea, and squeezing happy faces doesn't do it for you, you can always go to the traditional way of alleviating law school related stress. If you do, I hope you grabbed one of these cards, it just might save your life. I plan on wearing mine around my neck.

Post in which Ex.Coll. is pissed

Q: What do South Texas College of Law (4th tier law school) and Texas Wesleyan Law School (also 4th tier) have in common?
A: They, along with Texas Tech (2nd tier), U of H (2nd tier), SMU (2nd tier), and Baylor (2nd tier), have higher bar passage rates that UT.

Please join me in a collective WTF?

I used to give Sager the benefit of the doubt, but his head really should roll for this. Being in 7th place in bar passage is unacceptable.

And don’t give me that crap about Texas being about the ‘philosophy of the law;’ classes like Reading Roman Law and Food Law, might be well and good, but won’t mean a damn thing to someone who can’t pass the F’n bar. The truth is that the vast majority of the people who come to law school do so to become lawyers. I just can’t understand how the only top tier law school in the state can only consistently beat St. Mary’s and Texas Southern in bar passage.

Wait, St. Mary’s is only about 3 percentage points behind us, I better be careful what I say.

Better than I expected.

and I thought I was bitter

All I did was burn my books. This dude shot his up.

(Yes, I realize this blog has been turning into just me posting a bunch of links. What can I say, I've become lazy (lazier?). I'll try and change that soon.)

Sometimes irony doesn't even begin to describe it

I have nothing more to add to this story other than summarizing it up: Illegal aliens working at Hutto Detention Center.

I couldn't even make this stuff up.

Power naps and more Westlaw WTF

Power naps are a good thing. The only problem I have with them is keeping them short. I hate having to use some sort of alarm to wake myself up if I need a quick nap say, in the library. I have found the perfect solution. Nap Tracks. Just down load them, put them on your iPod or other MP3 player, play, and nap. The tracks play white noise that sounds annoying at first but it quickly blends in and off to dreamland you go. At the end of the track, the noise just stops. Usually that's enough to wake even me up, but if it doesn't the noises that follow will.
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Proof that Westlaw is just messing with me:

Apology

I apologize to anyone in the library I may have disturbed with my laughing.
I was reading this.

And as a matter of fact, I do call this studying.

If you need me

I'll be in a spider hole until the MPRE tomorrow.

Good luck to those who will be taking it.
Wish me luck, I'll need it.

On a related note, a Cuge Congrats to those who passed the Texas Bar. You know who you are.

Can someone please explain. . .

how these three topics are related?

Four years can fly by.

It had to have been in early November of 2003 when I heard about this. The actual anniversary is today. Michael Barrera was a friend of mine. The day of the funeral, I followed in the procession approximately 15 miles to the church, I experienced one of those moments that people are compelled to photograph and forward in emails. Along the road were groups of complete strangers, some a small as 2 or 3, some with probably a hundred or so, most held American flags as they blew in the wind, some saluted while others put their hand over their heart, all were solemn and respectful. Some people driving the opposite direction, pulled over, got out of their car, and watched with respect as the entire procession, which was probably about two miles long, passed. A small tribute to a person who was willing to make a sacrificed most of us wouldn’t.

Rest in peace, my friend.

Farewell

I’ve waited a while to post this because over the last couple weeks I’d been blogging quite a bit (by my standards at least) and I didn’t want this to get buried.

Fellow blogger Hawk McGee is calling it quits. I’ll miss the blog, I always thought it was quite good. So Hawk, I bid thee a fond adieu.

His departure is odd in the fact that, unlike in years past (see Amicus Cuarie and Wings&Vodka), it looks like the worst blogger of the class (see: me) will survive the year.

Saturday blogging

I missed the Longhorns game today, so I went on over to www.mackbrown-texasfootball.com to see how it went. After all it was Baylor, it shouldn’t have been a problem. What struck me first was not the score, but the ad that read “Vote for Colt McCoy Davey O’Brien National QB Award.”

Needless to say, I did not click. Maybe if it were for the Fumble McTurnover award. . .

R.I.P. Prof. William McCormack

It looks like UT Law lost another fine prof.

Prof. McCormack was teaching this semester's M&A course, and from what I've heard, was pretty good. He was an adjunct here since he was a partner at Fulbright in Dallas.

In typical BigLaw style, here is Fulbright's tribute.

Seen in Austin

I wish I could make this up.

Watch out

Eh, this sort of thing never really reaches its full potential, at least not here.
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On another note, today was apparently Blog Action Day. Not sure what that means, but have a good one.

Restrooms

For over two years now something has bothered me about the law school, something I’ve never understood. Why is it that when the custodians clean a restroom, they always prop the door open? I found this to be most problematic in the library.

There are reasons restrooms have doors. Good reasons. I’m pretty sure everyone would agree that there are sounds that occur in the restroom that really should stay in the restroom.

I for one, always kick out the door stop when go into the restroom. Why doesn’t everyone?

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And while I’m on the topic. . .

What’s up with the men’s room on the 4th floor near the Civil Rights Journal? Why would they install not one, but two, urinals literally inches away from the sinks with no sort of divider? And why do people use them? Do you really think that I want to wash my hands while some guy’s taking a leak standing right next to me?

I suppose it could have been worse. After all there are three sinks and two urinals so it could have been sink – urinal – sink – urinal – sink.

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A post entirely devoted to restrooms, how’s that for raising the level discourse?

Lord of the Ring

I got an email this week offering the "official" class ring of the University of Texas. Unlike Baylor and Tech, Texas doesn't have a ring specific to the Law School (unless I missed it).

How many law students who didn't go to UT undergrad get one? To any 3Ls who read this blog, are you getting one?

I'm thinking about it, especially since I never got one for my undergrad.

It's about that time

Time to bust a rhyme?
Time to shoot a mime?
Time to change my line?

No, it's time to pick your classes for the Spring. That's right, ladies and gents, it's time to start constructing your perfect Spring Schedule.

How do I know, because the Spring schedule isn't out yet. [interrobang?]

Oh. . . and I looked at the calendar.

Longhorn "football"

This week’s game Sucked. Sucked big. And it rained.

For the life of me I can’t figure out what the heck Mack brown is thinking. I know this is college ball, but can we fire Colt. He’s can’t throw, he can’t run, but he sure as hell can take a concussion. And what’s up with special teams? Are they really “special”? Returning not only a kick-off, but also a punt, for a touchdown is unacceptable.

I am genuinely afraid of next week and I don’t even know if I have the nerve to watch.

On a related note, after the game I needed a drink. So I hit a local watering hole to try and wash the idea of a 20 point loss away. After several rounds, none of which seemed to help, I gave up and decided to call it a night.

I walked out into the parking lot looking for my car, when I saw a guy looking pretty depressed. He was sitting on the curb of the parking lot without a friend in the world. He was next to my car so I couldn’t avoid him. By the time I got to my car, I saw it was Colt McCoy.

He looked up at me: “Why did it have to rain? I could have done better, but why was it raining?”
I explained to him as though he were a child: “It rained because God was crying.”
Colt wiped a lone tear from his cheek and asked: “Why was God crying?”
I took a knee next to him, put my hand on his shoulder, looked him square in the eye, and told him the honest truth: “Because he saw the way you were playing.”

I went home thinking I had at least done a little bit of good.

westlaw still sucks

I was researching some state cases and came across a weird abbreviation in a citation I'd never seen before. I searched and searched and searched, but couldn't find what the abbreviation stood for, but I saw it had been used literally thousands of times. I gave up and decided to click that little Help box and asked for the live researcher support. I posed my question: what did this abbreviation stand for. This was the answer I got:

Thanks westlaw. Thank you very much.

My new favorite punctuation mark

I don't think I ever had an old one, but my favorite one is now the interrobang.

Reward: 1 beer to any 1L who uses one in their final LRLW memo.

NFL

I usually don't comment on NFL games, but today was a rare day that my two favorite teams lined up: the Chicago Bears and Whoever's Playing the Cowboys.

I'm double disappointed.

Texas Football

Finally. It's about Texas performed well. I admit, when Texas fumbled the ball after only 11 second of play, I was scared, but 58 points later, all (most) was forgiven. It was a pretty entertaining game. I think the best thing Rice put on the field was The Mob. While I can't say I like the "7" formation and the underlying joke, the Michael Vick stuff was great.

Here's a good summary of the game.

UT v. Rice

Will the Horns show up for the game? For the whole game? We'll see.

What does a $15 whore look like?

Take your pick gentlemen:


Yes, for the low low price of $30, you can have this mother/daughter team. Read the story.

As for the story, I have to ask, was it really necessary to include "the majority of the Duncan’s clientele was believed to be Hispanics"? Seriously, does it matter the race of the Johns?

Ahoy!

Yar! Avast ye maties. Tis Cap’n Ex.Coll, here remindin’ ye all that today be Talk Like a Pirate Day. Make sure ye be talking like a pirate all day when ye be called on in class or when ye be knowin the answer. I’ll see any dirty landlubber in Davy Jones’s locker if ye don’t.

Should ye see any bloddy landlubber who don’t be speakin like a pirate, make em walk the plank!

funny

To any Star Wars fans out there who have not seen Robot Chicken, I give you:

More Law Mail Ass-Kissing

"Once again, Dean Sager has generously agreed to sponsor airfare for five students to attend the Career Fair."

So is our fearless dean now writing all the law mails that are sent out?

Yea, I know, I'm probably beating a dead horse. I'll try and stop posting about this.

Law Mail

Cleaning out the old law mail box and came across these two gems:
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"I am delighted to announce that, due solely to the efforts of our Dean Larry Sager, Professor Burt Neuborne, a Professor at the NYU School of Law, has agreed to fly to Austin to teach federal courts here in the spring."

What, no mention on whatever role our fearless dean had in running off our current Fed. Courts prof.?

......................
"Environmental Health and Safety (EHS) and the Office of the Vice President for Employee and Campus Services (ECS) want to remind you that Austin has a significant bat population, and though they're really cute--bats are considered a high-rabies risk species and should NEVER be touched."

I think that's the best piece of advice I can give to all you 1Ls. I touched a bat once, but only because it was really cute. Sure it was fun, in retrospect, contracting rabies was probably too high a price to pay.

RIP

I’m glad I had the opportunity to see Pavarotti the last time he came to Texas. It was a fantastic show. It was right around the time he announced his “retirement” and his multi-year farewell tour. The sad thing about it was that the show was far from a sellout, so in order to make the audience appear to be bigger than it was, the venue closed off the upper levels and move the cheap bastards (like me) into the $100+ seats. Not bad for me, but the woman sitting next to me in the evening gown didn’t appear to be pleased.

Seeing this is making me regret my decision not to see Placido Domingo when he was in Texas during the summer.

Nice Hypo, Lexis

Yet another reason to prefer Lexis over WestLaw:

And so it begins

Wish me luck. . . I'll need it.

Legal Research VI

Okay, maybe this one's not really "legal research," but seeing this video clip did cause an interesting debate on whether this is a good tape for the defendant. I contend it is.

Hello Out There

I'm curious whether there are any soon to be UT 1L blawgs out there. If you come across one, let me know.

Look into my crystal newspaper.

It appears the Statesman can see into the future. Check out the dateline on this story.

To the editors at the Statesman: next time you print the future, please make it the sports page. Thanks, Ex.Coll.

Not-So-Legal Research

You know those little red locks Hollywood Video uses to lock the DVD cases?

They are a bitch to get off.

Legal Research V

This is something that really did surprise me. With the exception of judicial races, and cash donations, and in some cases, timing, there is no limit to political campaign contributions for state, county, or city offices. When researching this, I refused to believe this. I looked for hours to find a statute that didn't exist (and no, this wasn't the first time this summer when this happened). Finally, since time was running our on my deadline, I called the Texas Secretary of State, who led me to the Texas (lack of) Ethics Commission, who connected me to a very nice staff election attorney who confirmed this lack of limits.

Just goes to show, you get the finest government money can buy.

Dynamite Warrior

Yes, I know I just posted about movies a few minutes ago, but this movie warrants its own post.

I've started getting into martial arts films these last couple of years. I haven't seen many and I really don't' know what to look for when I do see one. My criteria thus far has been if it made it to the US, it's probably pretty good. So far that rule has served me well. Then came this piece of crap.

I take that back, "crap" doesn't begin to describe this movie. It was horrible. Bad. Putrid. Shit.

I have no idea how (or why) I managed to watch this in its entirety. It was horrible. I should have turned it off after the opening fight scene when the main character flew through the air riding on a firecracker.

Tomorrow, I'm returning it to Hollywood Video and demanding they take this movie off the history of things I've checked out. And I want my two hours back.

Movie Notes

I've been watching a lot of movies this summer. It's been fun, and I've seen several excellent movies. I've also seem some crap. Because I rarely watch TV anymore, I have no idea what movies are coming out and what's available so I end up going to the video store having no idea what to look for or get. Usually I end up with something I either heard was good or, based on the cover, looks decent.

That is how I found The Contract, starring John Cusack and Morgan Freeman. It wasn't until after watching the film I realized it was a direct to DVD movie. The only reason a movie staring two, well-known, good actors can go straight to DVD is if the studio looked at the finished product and sad "Damn, we fucked up." And they did.

However, this movie did make me come to the realization that I've grown quite fond of cheese.

Death / Legal Research IV

I don't mean for this post to be pro- or anti- death penalty, just an observation. I meant to post this a long time ago, but for some reason or other didn't, so here goes.

Once, while doing some research I had to go through some filings, and court papers for a death penalty case. I didn't think too much about it having seen most of the motions I came across before in one form or another in research I'd done previously.

Then I saw it. What made me realize what made this case different form any other case I'd ever researched or worked on. It was a simple one page document. I don't even remember what the body of it said. It looked like any other motion/pleading/finding/order, same paper, font, formatting, etc. At the top of the first page, in bold caps: DEATH WARRANT.

To be honest, I don't know if I came across that document before or after I saw the sentence pronouncement from the court, but this is how a substantial part of the sentence pronouncement read:
“It is the order of the Court that the Defendant, ---, who has been adjudged by a jury to be guilty of Capital Murder, and whose punishment based upon the finding of the jury has been assessed by the court at death, shall, before the hour of sunrise on Tuesday, the --th of ----, A.D. 19-- at the Institutional Division of the Texas Department of Criminal Justice at Huntsville, Texas, be caused to die by intravenous injection of a substance or substances in a lethal quantity sufficient to cause death and until such convict is dead; and that the Clerk of this court issues a Death Warrant in accordance with this sentence directed to the Director of the Institutional Division of the Texas Department of Criminal Justice at Huntsville, Texas, and deliver such warrant to the Sheriff of this the County of ___, Texas, to be by him delivered to the such director, together with the said [Defendant]. [Defendant] is remanded to jail to await transportation to the Institutional Division of the Texas Department of Criminal Justice at Huntsville, Texas, and execution of this sentence.”

Myspace

I can't believe I did this. I got a Myspace account.

I have no idea what possessed me to do it, but some friends were talking about it. I had my reservations at first, but once I saw this guy had one, I knew I had to do it.

So, if you're on Myspace, and you know who I am, feel free to add me as a friend, or whatever the heck it is people on Myspace do.

What's next, Facebook?

Legal Research III

Okay, here comes this 23 year old guy, Claiborne. He gets caught witch a single crack rock. He gets into rehab, and soon is caught with more crack. He can’t work out a deal, so he pleased guilty to both counts. The Judge is so smitten with the guy he comments that he was “concerned that the Sentencing Guidelines, while they take into account a lot of factors, in this situation, the 37-month low end of the range is, in my view, excessive in light of your criminal history which is zero and in light of the circumstances involved in this case. . . when I consider the quantity of drugs that are involved. . . and the likelihood of your committing further similar crimes in the future, I come to the conclusion that a 37-month sentence would be tantamount to throwing you away.” [see page 4-5 of the brief here] So the fair minded judge gives the guy a much lighter sentence.

Well the mean old government doesn’t like that, so it appeals saying that they kid’s no good. You let him out and the whole word’s at risk. The cases ends up being grated a SCOTUS cert.

What happens, you ask?

[click here for the story]
[click here for the SCOTUS opinion]

SmallLaw Myth #1

It is often said that at SmallLaw attorneys are not expected to work as many as hours as BigLaw. Based on my anecdotal experience, this is a myth. The small firm I'm at now expects a lot from attorneys. Around the legal community, this firm has a reputation for being thorough, and that reputation is well deserved.

The firm also pays its employees on the 1st and the 15th. When I turned in my time card fr the first half of July, it added up to 125 hours. And yes, I did take the 4th of July off.

I know that 60-65 hours a week is not much compared to what BigLaw requires of their attorneys, but I doubt its what they require of their clerks. Also, I usually go home well before the younger attorneys.

Holy Crap.

You are 93% REAL Texan!!

High five, you're a complete Texan. People from other states should tremble in your presence because they're simply not worthy. Let them bow before you and convey their undying adoration to you while they announce their true desire to be Texan.

How Texan Are You?

Legal Research II

I saw on the news that last week SCOTUS threw a small monkey wrench in Texas' Death Machine. Apparently the guy who represented himself during a capital murder trial while speaking in a John Wayne accent didn't get to prove he was insane.

Just a little more evidence to prove that the person who acts as his own attorney has an idiot for a client.
penalty

Legal Research I

Over the last few months, I’ve done quite a bit of research, for school, work, help friends, and just general curiosity. I’ve decided to share some of the more noteworthy things I’ve found.

For example, my career choices were significantly lowered once I found Texas Government Code 87.012 and 87.013. Turns out quite a few county officials (including district attorneys, county judges, sheriffs, and hide inspectors, can be removed for intoxication regardless of whether or not you are on duty. Damn.

--------------
This is not legal research, but I just have to give my $0.02.

After reading this article, I couldn't help but wonder, what 16 year old gets an allowance. You;re 16 damn years old! if you want a $500 phone, get a job. So, what kind of 16 year old gets an allowance, the same kind of spoiled shit who stands in like for 8 hours with his grandmother.

How do you say “pander” in Spanish?

[Click Here]

Is this a calling?

At work a big case is coming to a head. What’s interesting is in looking at previous lawyers and firms who have been involved in the case. The case has been going on for around two decades and probably a few dozen lawyers have touched it at various points on various sides for various issues.

Out of sheer curiosity, I’ve Googled some of them. Two (of three) firms are no longer in existence. Some of the attorneys are still around, but the subject matter of this case is no longer their specialty. A few are no longer lawyers. My favorite is the one who left the legal profession to become a chef. I told my boss about my findings and she commented “Of course. People don’t last long in this field. It will eat you up.”

Disheartening.

Yea SBA!!!

I received an email today that my locker has practically been condemned. This sucks. What sucks even more is that I already renewed it, it’s in a place that’s convenient for me, and it where my friends have their lockers.

Why are they doing this? Apparently it has just come to the attention of the LAW school that the restrooms adjacent to the lounge are not ABA compliant.

So… they’ve been like that for how many years now? Now, all of a sudden, they have to comply with the ADA.

More proof of the worthlessness of the SBA.

I.S.O.

To all (both) my regular readers: I am in search of a certain alcohol and am hoping for some help. There is a certain alcohol named “Less” and it’s not available at any liquor stores near my house. It’s very important that I find this. For a long time people have told me I need to drink Less. Now my Dr. is telling me I need to drink Less, but I can’t find it. Help.

Help

I'm looking for a needle.


That's what I've been looking for at work.

A new benchmark

What is a standard by which you can judge a good (read: successful) lawyer? I’m not talking about being rated A++ by Martindale or anything like that, but something that anyone can see and think “that must be a good lawyer.” Is it the name on the masthead? The name on the high-rise building? The corner office? The second office in Aspen? The Rolls parked at the entrance of the valet parking lot?

I think I found it. I’ll know I’ve really succeeded when I can get one of these done of me during a trial. I would defiantly have it framed and hang it in my office. Yes, I’ve seen it done. Yes, it’s awesome.

It's like a car wreck...

you don't want to see it, but you just have to.

You know you will have to read a news story that starts with this: Some women in Springfield [MO] are regretting their decision last week to get a tattoo from a door-to-door tattoo salesman.

Television Sucks

It’s the only way I can explain how bingo is a prime time show.

Note to ABC: Howie Mandel is pretty annoying, did you think he'd be less annoying with an accent?

the M word

I didn’t want to post this explicitly here for fear that I might jinx myself, but I think it's pretty safe to say it now. I found a job and I've already started working. Thank you CSO – NOT.

While this job is a real-life-honest-to-goodness clerkship it carries with it a virtual guarantee I won’t get an offer for permanent employment next year. Oh well… what’s a 3L Spring without some unemployment-related stress? Here’s the real shocker, this is at a firm. Yes, Ex.Coll., Mr. LawFirmsAreTheBaneOfTheLegalWorld, is working for a law firm. (And a pretty good one at that.)

So I started work and I got put on a couple of things right away. It doesn't seem like busy work, but real work. Then at about 5:15 p.m. on my first day I heard it.

I knew it was too good to be true.

I heard the M word.

Memo.

You have to understand how much I hate memos. I hate them with every fiber of my being. Literal hatred. If Memos were personified into a single individual, I’d kill him. There is a gnawing, burning, pulsing sensation in the pit of my bowels that represents my feeling towards memos.

I have one due on Monday.

No, I haven't started. Why do you ask?

I don’t like Michael Moore.

I think he’s a moron who uses publicity stunts to advance his half baked ideas. That said, I do like the fact he called out Sen. Fred Thompson on the hypocritical Trading With the Enemy Act (aka the Cuban Trade Embargo). Apparently the good Senator has a stash of Cuban cigars in his office.

Not to be outdone, the former D.A. of New York did a video reply to MM. I wonder if it was McCoy behind the camera.

Yet another disturbing sight

I’m getting tired of seeing disgusting stuff. Really, I am.

The other day I was in a library (not the Tarlton, thankfully) and I heard the call of nature. I went to the men’s room, where I proceeded to the urinal nearest the wall per the unwritten rules of the men’s room. As I was, ahem, “taking care of business,” in walks another man. An enormous man. A Ginormous man. Seriously, this guy was EASILY over 350 lbs. He takes the stall two down from me, also following the aforementioned rules. No problem… yet.

I finish what I need and walk to the sink to wash my hands. I look into the mirror to both wonder why I ever gave up my career as a male model to pursue law school and to regret not covering up my hair with a cap in when I stepped out to face the day. As I look into the mirror, to my dismay, I see that Mr. 350+ was at a urinal clearly and conspicuously visible from my mirror.

What’s the big deal, you ask. Well, Mr. 350+, for whatever reason, was peeing like a 3-year-old boy. For those of you unfamiliar with the peeing habits of a 3-year-old boy, it is done with one’s pants down to his knees. So as I look in the mirror, expecting to see myself and my untamed head of hair, I see a Mr. 350+’s ass. Not a pleasant sight. Not at all.

Please excuse any more typos than usual in this post as I am shuddering as I type.

From one mother to another

Happy Mother’s Day to everyone out there form the baddest mother in the blogosphere.

Hmmmm....
It appears I have somehow screwed up my blog. Sorry.

UPDATE: I think I "fixed" it. Let me know what you think.

Rejection

Ah, the reject letter… oh, how I missed thee.

Today’s gem:
“I must compliment your qualifications. I know that you will be a valuable asset to any serious minded law firm.”

Since you are rejecting me, does that mean you are not a serious minded law firm?

I think I need to find a non-serious minded firm. It just sounds like it would be more fun.

Remember what I said about marketing in the legal world?

I recently commented on the overall crappy job lawyers in marketing themselves. Well that does not apply to the lawyer who came up with this billboard.


Yes, this is real.

----------------
Don't worry, I didn't forget to get you today's distraction.

A Milestone

My blog has reached a milestone. I received the 10,000th visitor to my little spot on the web yesterday. While I know 10,000 hits is nothing compared blogs that are good, interesting, or proofread, I still though I should somehow commemorate this momentous occasion,

So to the visitor from Austin who stopped by at 11:24 p.m. yesterday, please click here to receive your gift. It just a small token of my appreciation and a testament to my Wordart ability that I hope you will enjoy. Feel free to print it out and carry a copy with you in your wallet. It’s also suitable for framing and hanging in your office. I would also recommend updating your resume to include this as one of your academic accomplishments. Email me if you need a letter of recommendation.

Dictator or Sitcom Character?

Tired of Torts? Loosing consciousness due to Contracts? Throwing a fit because of F.I.T.?

Whatever the case may be, enjoy trying to stump this.
It’s been a couple years since I spent half a day trying to stump it, but I did. Three times if I remember right.

You look like you need

Another distraction.

Sorry, no distraction today.

Instead, I offer gratuitous nudity.

[for those who insist on context]

An after-finals stroll

Today I took what has become a tradition for me. After my final today, I took a walk around campus. Today, I ended up by the Student Union where I saw a group of students celebrating “No Pants Day.” (Note: I had no idea that when I Googled “no pants day” I would see a photo of the UT celebration.)

The problem with having a “No Pants Day” is that the vast majority of people who would celebrate by not wearing pants are the people that really should be wearing pants.

It's time for...

Distraction #2
[click here]

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Interesting

If you Google "I was wondering if I could still register for the class and do my video now rather then the summer," this blog is the number one hit. I guess I need to answer. So, if you are wondering if you could still register for the class and do your video now rather then the summer, the answer is ABSOLUTELY. If anyone tells you otherwise, tell them Ex.Coll said you could.

You might want to print this posting out so you have proof.

For a Distraction

Click here.

I need help researching.

Please help as this is very important this time of year. I need more music.

As anyone who’s seen the music on my iPod can attest, I like all kinds of music. My taste in music has been called “varied,” “eclectic,” “diverse,” and “just plain weird.” However, despite this, I’ve always avoided two specific genres of music. I’ve never had a reason for avoiding them, I just did. That is, until now. Now, I’m hooked on both Jazz and Blues. I’ve bought several albums from old standards like John Coltrane, Miles Davis, John Lee Hooker, and B.B. King, but now I want more. Can anyone suggest good artists that I might enjoy? From what I’ve heard so far, I tend to like the older stuff more than the contemporary stuff.

Email or post a snide remark if you have any suggestions for me.

It's catching up with me.

I hate reading old English legal stuff.

But every once in a while I find something that was worth reading. Example:
Follett (one of the two lawyers in a “very important” case before the House of Lords) could not help expressing to his opponent his astonishment at seeing him indulging in so solid and carnal a diet by way of a preparative for the task he was about to enter upon (argue the case), and for which a clear unclouded brain was so essential.
“As to the clearness of brain,” said Maule (the opposing counsel and glutton), “I find that mine is clear already. The truth is, I am striving to bring my intellect down to the level with the capacity of those idiotic judges.”

-Mr. Serjeant [B. Coulson] Robinson, Bench and Bar, 158-159 (4th ed. 1894).

Finals

Now that all crises have been resolved to everyone’s liking, it’s time to settle in for finals.

Oddly enough, I’m not stressed out at all over this semester’s finals. The reason is that when I registered for classes for this semester I registered for as many P/F classes as I could get into. The result: a nearly stress free finals season. Yet despite this, I still haven’t finished my seminar paper nor am I even close.

*************
And if you’re here to find out the resolution of the office space debacle, my last comment on my last post had been affirmed. As far as I know, the TI(P)LJ debate continues.

Crisis resolved (?)

Law students have a reputation for being pretty high-strung, loving to argue, and refusing to concede damn near anything. How fair is that reputation, given my current state of mind, I don’t think I’m in any position to make that judgment.

Law Reviews and Journals tend to attract the “best” law students, so… you make your own conclusion on how the previous sentence relates to this one.

As for the people who are chosen to lead these organizations… again, make your own conclusion.

When you put the heads of all of these leaders in the same room and try to get them to agree to any sort of change, it’s just asking for trouble (and a three hour meeting). I didn't realize that what would actually happen was pretty close to what I suggested in my previous post.

That being said, due to some crazy series of events, a person who probably had no business being at this meeting was there – me.

Chup has done a great job of covering the events, but he left out the best quote of the meeting. From Dean Albright: “due to this, I learned all about blogs.” Other than that, I cant add anything. If you want to know what happened over there, check out the Goat Sucker’s site.

Office Space Crisis

A lot has been said about the current space “Crisis” at the Law School. I don’t think there’s much I could say that hasn’t been said already. However, one name that I haven’t seen mentioned is Powers. I wonder how much (if any) responsibility President Dean Powers should bear.

If King Sager’s comments are to be believed, that we are a bazillion sq feet in the hole, it didn’t happen overnight. This looks to be a growing problem that was never addressed. The King has only been on the throne for a year, this appears to be a problem that grew under Powers and now has to be dealt with by Sager.

That said, if we are so in the hole for space, why is the Law School starting new clinics?

As for the Journals now having to fight it out for office space, I propose a old-school, WWF-style, Law Journal Royal Rumble. Maybe even a cage match. Take all the EICs and MEs, throw them in together with no rules and no witnesses, last one standing allocates the space.

Thank you Westlaw

This still doesn't make up for not following through on a promise of breakfast, but it's, well... interesting.

I picked this up from Westlaw on what I like to call "Free Crap Day" at the law school. It was in a basket filled with the usual Westlaw swag (mug, water bottle, candy, etc.). I suppose it is better than the normal stress balls the law firms give out, but I still find this odd.

And yes, I know that neither playing with my new toy, digitally recording it, nor posting it online, is helping me, in any way, to write my seminar paper or help me get a job. To tell you the truth, it's not even relaxing or even pleasurable. I think it's because of the rather disgusting sound this thing makes when I squeeze it.

Anyhow, you'll probably want to make sure your computer is on mute when you play this clip.


UPDATE: Nothing really to add other than that my Westlaw Weststalker has added to to his Google Reader. I'm flattered.

Unemployment sucks

Yes, it sucks the Big One.

It appears that the job I thought I had for the summer has fallen through, so I don’t think it would be an exaggeration to say that I’m the only 2L who still has no job. This sucks big time and I have no idea what to do. If I don’t find something by Friday I may have to resort to blind calling attorney’s from the yellow pages and beg for work.

The only thing I’m fairly certain of is that this summer I won’t be in Austin.

I suppose I could register for Summer classes, but I don’t think that would benefit me very much. You see, I’ve made some commitments that are year long in Austin, so even if I graduate in December, I’ll still have to be around the school taking care of things I thought I’d be a student to do.

Man, this bites. Bites hard.

I need a (few) drink(s).

If anyone out has any ideas about how a desperate law student can find employment, please post a comment or email me.

Eliminating finals

At the risk of sealing the Debaucherous One’s thunder, I think I came up with an idea to eliminate finals. Someone told me one of his classes was changed to pass/fail status a few weeks ago once a significant breach of anonymity occurred.

My idea is to have a large portion of students in any given class email the professor their exam ID. You would have to make sure the ID is in the subject field so the prof can’t get out of this by saying he didn’t open the email. Of course not everyone will do this, since the people who have been outlining since February are confident in their A+, but I’m sure there has to be some critical point in which the anonymity s sufficiently compromised so that the class has to be changed to pass/fail.

Who’s with me in testing out my theory?

I’m getting forgetful in my old age

It seems I forgot to wish every one a good day for Vladimir Lenin’s Birthday, also known as Earth Day.
So if it’s not too late, I hope you have a good one.

Just Curious…

…why someone who has a blog would post things and then later pull them.

I would assume that the majority of regular readers come by the blog to see the author’s thoughts, observations, opinions, or, in my case, the occasional incoherent ramblings. In reality, I have no idea why anyone would come to this blog. Why then, would a blogger write something and later take it down. I have considered taking down posts I’ve put up in the past, but pretty much see it is trying to un-ring the bell and, to the best of my memory, have never done so.

What’s the point of this post? I don’t know. I guess I’m being too preachy and offering unsolicited advice when I am the last one who should be giving advice on blogging. I guess my final thought on this is, think twice, then think twice again before posting. Now, take care of yourselves – and each other.

Heart Attack

That little pop you heard was the sound of my heart exploding when I learned today that my seminar paper is due one week before I thought it was.

Legal Marketing

I’m sure I’m not alone in noticing how horrible the legal profession, as a whole, is at marketing. Sure, most BigLaw firms are pretty good especially when it comes to websites, but I’m talking more about small firms.

Take the image below which I stole from a small firm’s website. They picked a nice one for the family law section, but couldn’t they have picked a better photo for their criminal defense section?

It seems to me that the image you should use should be one that engenders sympathy. You see the happy family and if you need a family lawyer, you might think “gosh darn it, I want my family to be like that so I’m going to hire this firm.” Makes sense, right? Then how do you explain using a line of cocaine to promote your criminal practice? I suppose it could have been worse. After all, they do mention “sex crimes defense” so they could have shown a dirty old man with a lollipop calling a little kid.

Wishful thinking

Just in case any of my regular readers and wondering what to give me for my birthday, here’s a suggestion. I believe that it is currently only available in authorized La Casa Del Habano stores.

Sho Bid’nes

I don’t normally call this kind of thing, especially this early in the year, but I smell Oscar®.

Ascher

I just don’t get people’s infatuation with Prof. Acher.
I had the misfortune of taking him for FIT. Maybe it was just the subject matter, but I didn’t like the class at all. His dry, monotone style and humor, was pretty good at first, but got to be boring and annoying by the end of the semester.

I honestly couldn’t stand the thought of taking W&E with him. I took Johanson for the class and in the class he assigned some of Ascher’s writings and I can’t honestly imagine him teaching the course.

Oh well, diff’rent strokes for diff'rent folks.

And just a flashback to the most satisfaction I got out of taking Ashcer for FIT:
And to answer a few questions I got last time I posted this: Yes, that is me burning the Tax Code. Yes, that was the book from the course. Yes, I probably could have sold the book. Yes, it was worth it.

Sad News

Sad proof that no Bee Gee should ever, ever, own anything once owned by Johnny Cash.

So wrong

SadKermit.com is so wrong on so many levels. I thought the part with Kermit and the picture of Miss Piggy was the worst it could possibly be, then came the scene with Rowlf. Oh, Rowlf, say it ain’t so.

Hoppy Easter

Yes, it was nearly one year ago this email was sent:

Dean Sharlot is canceling tomorrow’s (Friday, April 14) class and wishes you a "hoppy" holiday.

Cleaning out the Law Mail

From the CSO:
The 2007 CCS Professional Etiquette Dinner is sponsored by Enterprise Rent-A-Car and Philip Morris USA.

I’m sure there is a logical reason to pair up these two companies to sponsor an event for the law school, I just don’t see it.

I don’t recall either of them at OCI. Maybe they are building themselves up for next year.

I pity the fool who don’t follow these links.

A couple weeks ago, some friends were discussing someone who is arguably one of the greatest thespians of our time. I’m speaking, of course, of Mr. T.

Before you know it, we’re (I'm) checking out the Mr. T Wiki page learning all kinds of interesting facts about him. For instance, did you know his legal name is Mr. T and his middle name is the .?

Screw Chuck Norris, I’d take T over Walker any day.

Back to Mr. T, no online conversation about him would be complete with this link. Not only is he a great actor, but that video proves him to be a genuine “triple threat.” He can act, sing, and dance. Too bad he didn’t write the lyrics, I understand those are attributed to his presumed (by me) son, Ice T.

He also a fount of wisdom (“Be somebody, or be somebody’s fool”) and has great, timeless, fashion sense.

Conversation

This is a rough transcript of a conversation I had with a friend. I will not disclose which party I was.
Friend 1: I’m on my 5th taco, is that bad?
Friend 2: Depends. Is this a snack or dinner?
Friend 1: For me, dinner. If it were you, snack.
Friend 2: If loving tacos is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

Email from the Dean, Annotated [and shortened]

Many of you will have learned that while UT Law held its own in the annual reputational survey conducted by U.S. News [What ever happened to the “and World Reports” in the name?] among lawyers, judges and law professors, we slipped in that journal_s [I hate it when the cut-and-paste function changes ‘ to _ ] overall ranking of Law Schools. Our scores in the reputational survey placed us at 14th, in a cluster with Duke, Georgetown, Northwestern and several other leading law schools. Our overall ranking, however, was 18th. I am writing to assure you that this is wholly the result of a reporting anomaly that will affect us in no future year. [So, pretty please, don’t fire me the way U of H fired their Dean over rankings. After all, it’s only been a year.]

Last February, the Law School reported its graduate employment data to the National Association for Law Placement (NALP)… [The short version of this is that Law Schools manipulated their data in a way different from how we chose to manipulate our data.]

This will not happen again [damn it!]. Leslie Oster [I’m glad it’s not my name in this sentence], our Assistant Dean for Strategic Planning, has become an expert in the U.S. News process [so suck on that, Brian Leiter]. In the future, we will conform [read: manipulate] our reporting practices to those of our peer schools [since we now know how they do it]. And, faced with the unfairness and confusion caused by the studying-for-the-bar category, NALP, the ABA and U.S. News are seriously contemplating abandoning that category altogether. [After all, Law School itself, with, among other things, its forced and arbitrary grading system, is completely fair.]

All this is very annoying, of course [as is this email]. But it is a one-time [*fingers crossed*] hiccup. [I hope.]

I will not be satisfied until UT Law is comfortably in the top 10 [ya hear that, Duke, I ain’t satisfied]. But, in the meantime, we can confidently [hopefully] expect measurably better results next year. [In order to help us fulfill this goal, we plan on losing some great faculty members, reduce the offerings of popular classes, and keep our most prominent and distinguished professors teaching first year classes and no upper level classes. We will also ensure that the food in George’s Café remains putrid and overpriced. I’m not sure how that will help us, but food quality is not measured by USNWR. But most importantly, before any decision is made, we will think twice, then think twice again, for a total of four times we will think about it.]

[So again, please don’t fire me. After all, you like President Dean Powers, don’t you? I’m his friend, and he picked me to be Dean. Isn’t that enough?]

--Larry Sager

Time for a change.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, mainly over the last 20 or so hours.
My law school life sucks.
I have en enormous workload that I just don’t care about (see a previous post I’m too lazy to link to).
I have a seminar paper I have done no work on due in roughly a month.
I ran for a position in a student organization and lost miserably.
My journal work has been returned to me because I did it all wrong and the EIC asked if I was planning on staying on the journal.
I have no job.
I have no prospect for a job.
I don’t even have hope for an interview.
My GPA has me on academic probation, or whatever the hell they call it here.
CSO has suggested a take the summer off to relax.
The three classes I really want to take in the Fall all conflict.
I spend more time writing lame posts on my blog than I do preparing for class.

I know, you are probably thinking, why doesn’t this guy just quit bitching?
You’re right. I need to quit bitching. What is it they say? “Shit or get off the pot.”

If there’s one thing my Dad didn’t raise, it’s a quitter. So I won’t quit. I withdrew all my class selections for the fall and I don’t plan on returning after this summer.

I don’t see this as quitting, because I can still use the classes I’ve taken. I found a great school here in Austin that will let some of my classes carry over for credit. I’ve checked it out with the State Bar, and it looks like it’s on the up-and-up.

Wish me luck in my new endeavor.

I don’t know if I will keep up the blog in the Fall, so I want to thank my regular readers for the support you’ve given me in the past. I hope that I can still count on your ongoing support and well-wishes. If I choose to post elsewhere, you’ll have to Google it, I just can’t stand the thought of reliving these last two years.

-Ex.Coll.

It’s over

Aside from the spam campaigning, I am quite disappointed in this year’s SBA Elections. Where was the drama? The conflict? The name calling? The accusations? The irregularities? Come on people, you’re going to be lawyers!

And so ends another SBA campaign season, not with a bang, but with a whimper.

I forget what the winner’s platform was, though. Was it the “more booze,” “more parties,” or “more money for bar tabs?” Anyhow, I look forward to the longer recess and better food at Georges.

Tear

Alas, no candidate has sought my endorsement.
I wonder if it has anything to do with my previous post?
I think the fact that Jason Hassay hasn’t been endorsed is an endorsement in and of itself.

It’s that time of year again.

Time for the Stupid Bar Association elections. It’s been a year since I first commented on this act of stupidity. (The link in the old post no longer works. If you have the current link, please post in the comments.) While the “controversies” have remained at bay (so far), my essential question remains: what’s the point?

Based on my rather cursory glance at the “platforms” in the Atrium, there have been no changes. Even the lone sober candidate is the same, Jason. For that alone, he is worth my vote. I guess I will do what I did last year, one vote and the rest blank, unless, of course, someone can explain to me why SBA is worth my effort.

Can anyone convince me that the SBA is worth the effort it takes for me to circle a name on a slip of paper?

On Cigars

Just what this world needs, another overpriced cigar.
I never figured out what the deal was behind Gurkha cigars. I’ve been smoking for over a decade now, and had never head of them until Cigars International started pumping them up. I’d heard most of them were dog rockets, but I’ve never tried one myself. Personally, I couldn’t get over the butt-ugly artwork on the band. I mean it looks like a fat guy wearing a fez cleaning his fingernails. I’m sure they make a fine cigar, but their higher-end stuff is just too pricy for me. If I’m going to pay $15+ for a cigar, I’m going to stick with a brand I know (e.g. Fuente). Anyhow, they are now releasing what is going to be the most expensive cigar ever manufactured. The Gurkha Black Dragon. What’s the price? $115,000 for a box of 100. That makes the $300 a pop Cuban Dom Perignons seem like a bargain.

Oh, and by the way, if you want a box, you better order now, they are limiting the production to only (?) 5 boxes.

NPR

I’ll put this out right now, I don’t like NPR. While some it does offer some entertaining bits from time to time, I find it far to boring to look for those gems anymore. On a side note, I once passed the national headquarters of NPR and I felt drowsy just looking at the building.

Anyhow, NPR recently had a show featuring former Daily Show actor and current Leno hack Mo Rocca, washed up comedic has-been Paula Poundstone, and current Associate Justice of the Supreme Court Stephen Breyer. W T F ? I’m disappointed that the good Justice wasn’t up on his Ozzy Osborne and David Bowie trivia.

My sources inside NPR have told me that Ruth Bader Ginsburg will be a guest co-host on Car Talk next week. No word on if she will be filling in for Click or Clack.

Schedule

Wow. I thought the offerings for this semester sucked. The courses offered for the fall are abysmal. The following professors won’t be teaching any upper-level courses: Anderson, Smith, Young, Dz, Rau, Reese, and Sokolo. There will also be no offerings of BA and only 1 PR. Con Law II also seems to be offering slim pickings, and I don’t mean this guy.

Booooo.

The cacti are multiplying!

What’s the deal on the 6th floor of the Tarlton? Before spring break, there was just the normal distribution of cacti sitting on the tables, you know, classing up the joint, now they’re everywhere. One table has about a dozen on it. There’s even on in a corral! Who knew cacti were so frisky?

Of course not

After all, registration doesn’t begin until next week.
Thanks Student Affairs, I appreciate it.


UPDATE:
From an email at 5:11 p.m. Thursday: CHECK OUT THESE IMPORTANT LINKS NOW
TO HELP PREPARE YOUR SCHEDULE!!
Student Affairs, maybe you wouldn't have to yell if you gave us more than a weekend to look over the schedule.