Hello Out There

Is there anyone out there?

Let me know if you are.

In case you were wondering, I'm a practicing lawyer now doing exclusively criminal defense. I generally enjoy it and have been doing a good job (at least I think I have been).

So, let me know if you are out there and even care.


I've wanted to post, really I have . . .

. . . but after so long a hiatus, is it even worth it?

Please let me know, should I continue this blog?


BarBri email

I got this email the other day from BarBri:
Thank you for your enrollment in next week’s Texas Procedure and Evidence Workshop. I am writing to make you aware of a change of faculty for the second half of the Criminal Procedure section of the workshop.

When the workshop was recorded in Houston last week, Professor Jack Strickland, the former Chair of the Texas Board of Bar Examiners, experienced a medical emergency and was taken away by ambulance just before the beginning of the third hour of his lecture. Class was dismissed and resumed the next day with the scheduled civil procedure lecture which was delivered by Professor Byron Davis, the Co-Editor of O’Connors Texas Rules.

After Professor Davis finished, Professor Susan Crump, a known expert on Criminal Law and Procedure and member of the faculty of South Texas College of Law, delivered the final two hours of Professor Strickland’s lecture using Professor Strickland’s notes.

As a result, the workshop you attend next week will begin with two hours of lecture by Professor Jack Strickland followed after lunch by two hours of lecture by Professor Susan Crump. During the first hour of his lecture, Professor Strickland’s discusses the format of the exam and delivers his insights into the exam based upon his experience as a bar examiner. Following that discussion Professor Strickland and then Professor Crump review the most frequently tested issues on the criminal portion of the exam. And, of course, on the second day of the workshop, Professor Davis reviews the most frequently tested issues on the civil portion of the exam.
Here was my initial thought:
Since I am the intended third party beneficiary of the contract between Strickland and BarBri...

After stopping at that point, I asked myself, if the first event in Houston was so bad, why are they showing still replaying the video of it?


Google knows too much about me

Today, as I was reading an email about the bar exam, Gmail thought I might need to see the following advertisements:


I’m not going to lie

When I got this in the mail, a little bit of pee came out.


Open Letter

Dear Texas Bar Examiners,

I am currently studying for the July bar examination and I would like to make a proposal to you. I hereby promise that for so long as I practice law in the state of Texas, I will never, ever, practice any sort of Oil and/or Gas law. As such, please disregard that portion when grading my exam.




I'd like to say a few words about George Carlin. Seven to be exact: shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits.



Worst Attorney Site Ever

Today, on a whim, I decided to Google my old boss (the solo I worked for my 1L summer). I came across his new website. While I was working for him he allowed his old one to expire. It was nothing fancy, one of those standard lawyers websites that Lexis (or is it West) sells. His new one is terrible.

Sure, it looks like the standard fill-in-the-blanks lawyer website, but this one is just bad. First off, whoever filled in the blanks didn’t do a good job. His name is Will Rehnquist (yes, I changed his name), but the title of the webpage is:

Rehnquist Will 
Attorney At Law

Yes, the “at” is capitalized.

Also, throughout out the site is stuff like “At Rehnquist Will Attorney At Law we will fight for you,” “you need a professional like Rehnquist Will Attorney At Law,” and “call Rehnquist Will Attorney At Law and put us to work for you.”

But I think the worst is his domain – willrehnguist.com. Did you catch that? Yes, his name is misspelled in his domain.

I might have to take his name off my resume.



I know, I know, I am the last person on the internet who should be pointing out typos, but I don't have a J.D. from Havard.

Prof. Thomas H. Martin
, Massachusetts School of Law at Andover (unaccredited)


Sample Bar question of the day

I'm just glad to see the PMBR people are keeping their politics out of their business.

“Guderian owned a fifty acre parcel of mountain forest adjacent to a national park. When the Republican administration in Washington D.C. decided to sell off the national parks to developers, the market value of Guderians’s land quadrupled in value, since it now was next door to “Trump’s Yosemite Towers,” a 2,500-room resort and casino complex.”

I won’t bore you with the rest.