I’ve never had an opinion one way or the other on Starbucks. I know some people love it and other hate it with the intensity of a thousand suns. Personally, I was never much of a coffee drinker until law school so I didn’t care. Last semester, I received a few gift cards to Starbucks from various places. I’m never one to turn down anything free, so I used them. The more time I spent a Starbucks, the more I realized I hated the place.
Listening to someone order their mocha grande latte venti whatever made my stomach turn. Occasionally I would even get the pompous employee.
Ex.Coll: “I’ll take a large coffee.”
Pompous Employee: “Do you mean a venti?”
Ex.Coll: “Huh? I just want a large coffee.”
Pompous Employee: “Oh, so you want a venti coffee.”
Hey douche, just get the biggest cup you have, and put coffee in it. Period. If it takes more than two steps you’re doing it wrong.
After about six or seven visits (I got several gift cards), when I was third in line behind a man and a woman each ordering their mocha grande late frappe whateverthefucks, I realized I was actually in line behind people ordering mocha grande latte frappe whateverthefucks. I realized I’d become everything I ever hated.
I told this to a friend, hoping to find solace. Her reply “What did you expect, you’re in law school.”
A few days later, she gave me a present to make me feel better: a $10 Starbucks gift card.
So this morning I had this conversation (again):
“I’ll take a large coffee.”
“Do you mean a venti?”
“Huh? I just want a large coffee.”
“Oh, so you want a venti coffee.”
I hate you Starbucks, and I hate myself even more to helping you stay in business.
1.29.2007
Oh the humanity!
A gnome massacre.
I hope Travelocity wasn’t shooting any commercials down under.
---------
I always like seeing how reporters and editors come up with headlines for their stories. Here are my favorite headlines for the above story:
"Anger at Gnomeville Massacre" - Nice try, but really, put a little more effort into this.
"Gnome, gnome on derange"- Very clever, but is it really accurate? I mean it wasn’t the gnomes who were deranged.
"Gnomewreckers"- Excellent.
I hope Travelocity wasn’t shooting any commercials down under.
---------
I always like seeing how reporters and editors come up with headlines for their stories. Here are my favorite headlines for the above story:
"Anger at Gnomeville Massacre" - Nice try, but really, put a little more effort into this.
"Gnome, gnome on derange"- Very clever, but is it really accurate? I mean it wasn’t the gnomes who were deranged.
"Gnomewreckers"- Excellent.
1.26.2007
Cigar News
If you care at all about cigars, continue reading this post:
CAO had been purchased by some company I’ve never heard of. Why have I never heard of them? Because, despite being the third biggest cigar manufacturer (in terms of units sold) in the world, they don’t make as single premium, hand-rolled cigar.
Generally, I’m not a fan of CAO cigars, but they do have a few very good cigars. They make a Sopranos line of cigars featuring a box shaped like a car trunk, but they are too expensive for me to try and I’ve not heard good things about them. I enjoy their eXtreme line of cigars, but I rarely buy them.
CAO is a very “hip” cigar and they are masters of product placement and celebrity endorsement in the cigar industry.
As somewhat of a side note, I do love the look of their “Cubist Ashtray.” I need to get one of those.
CAO had been purchased by some company I’ve never heard of. Why have I never heard of them? Because, despite being the third biggest cigar manufacturer (in terms of units sold) in the world, they don’t make as single premium, hand-rolled cigar.
Generally, I’m not a fan of CAO cigars, but they do have a few very good cigars. They make a Sopranos line of cigars featuring a box shaped like a car trunk, but they are too expensive for me to try and I’ve not heard good things about them. I enjoy their eXtreme line of cigars, but I rarely buy them.
CAO is a very “hip” cigar and they are masters of product placement and celebrity endorsement in the cigar industry.
As somewhat of a side note, I do love the look of their “Cubist Ashtray.” I need to get one of those.
1.23.2007
Scientologist Comments
I saw the comments to my last post and couldn’t come up with a good response. At first I thought I’d try a funny reply, but what if Greg Churilov was serious? What if he was offended? After all, they can’t really think that Tom Cruise is Christ? What if they do think that he’s Christ? (What if he knows what “libelous” means?)
Then I thought it would be best to be serious and apologize for any offense I may have caused. Of course I would have tried to work in a subtle joke or two.
Then I thought I’d just say nothing at all.
Then I thought I’d do a simple “LMAO” reply.
I decided to think about it over dinner. So I swung by a Taco Bell to ponder what to do. That’s when it happened.
They brought out my order and I saw this.
Then I thought it would be best to be serious and apologize for any offense I may have caused. Of course I would have tried to work in a subtle joke or two.
Then I thought I’d just say nothing at all.
Then I thought I’d do a simple “LMAO” reply.
I decided to think about it over dinner. So I swung by a Taco Bell to ponder what to do. That’s when it happened.
They brought out my order and I saw this.
Scientologists, the wait is over!
Your Christ has been born named.
I need to swing by the Church of Scientology by campus and pick up one of these before they run out.
D'oh, I forgot to post the link.
I need to swing by the Church of Scientology by campus and pick up one of these before they run out.
D'oh, I forgot to post the link.
1.21.2007
Da Bears
I’m a big Chicago Bears fan, but given my reputation for jinxing them, I kept it quite here on the blog. Now that they are going to the big game, I gotta make it known.
The best part of them going to the Super Bowl is the fact that that ran over the Ain’ts to get there. And after seeing that Asshole Reggie Bush do a flip into the end zone after an 88 yard run (and still being two points behind), I’m convinced that no one was a more fitting loser.
My prediction: Bears 142 – Colts 3.
But please, no Super Bowl Shuffle.
The best part of them going to the Super Bowl is the fact that that ran over the Ain’ts to get there. And after seeing that Asshole Reggie Bush do a flip into the end zone after an 88 yard run (and still being two points behind), I’m convinced that no one was a more fitting loser.
My prediction: Bears 142 – Colts 3.
But please, no Super Bowl Shuffle.
1.20.2007
Another YouTube link
Quite possibly the creepiest commercial I’ve ever seen.
For those of you too young to remember, Orville has been dead for nearly a dozen years. I still feel a bit bad for Gary; the ad execs thought a digitized image of his dead grandfather would be more appealing than his living grandson.
1.18.2007
New Semester Resolutions
This semester I resolve to do better (forget about my previous post about me finding my place on the curve). Below are some of the things I have done or had done to me this past semester that contributed to making it the worst semester of Law School thus far. I resolve to do my best not to do them again.
1. Create a schedule involving four finals.
2. Get drunk by myself more than once a week.
3. Get my ass kicked (literally).
4. Loose my laptop within a matter of weeks of finals.
5. Replace lost laptop during finals.
6. Quit drinking alcohol at any point during the semester.
7. Schedule extensive dental work within three weeks of finals.
8. Drive 1000+ miles in the span of 24 hours.
9. Loose my iPod.
10. Mistakenly think that the 2L year is easier than the first.
11. Think that going to the University of Texas School of Law will somehow help me get a job.
12. Schedule an interview during finals.
13. Eat at George’s Café.
14. Move during the semester.
15. Live in the ghetto.
1. Create a schedule involving four finals.
2. Get drunk by myself more than once a week.
3. Get my ass kicked (literally).
4. Loose my laptop within a matter of weeks of finals.
5. Replace lost laptop during finals.
6. Quit drinking alcohol at any point during the semester.
7. Schedule extensive dental work within three weeks of finals.
8. Drive 1000+ miles in the span of 24 hours.
9. Loose my iPod.
10. Mistakenly think that the 2L year is easier than the first.
11. Think that going to the University of Texas School of Law will somehow help me get a job.
12. Schedule an interview during finals.
13. Eat at George’s Café.
14. Move during the semester.
15. Live in the ghetto.
1.17.2007
I knew it couldn't last
Emergency Information
The University of Texas at Austin is CLOSED
as of Wednesday, January 17, 2007 at 8:49 PM
University will reopen Thursday, Jan. 18
The University of Texas at Austin will open at 10 a.m. on Thursday, Jan. 18, and will hold its first classes at 11 a.m.
All classes scheduled to begin at 11 a.m. or later will meet. If a class starts before 11 a.m. the class will not meet.
http://www.utexas.edu/emergency/
The University of Texas at Austin is CLOSED
as of Wednesday, January 17, 2007 at 8:49 PM
University will reopen Thursday, Jan. 18
The University of Texas at Austin will open at 10 a.m. on Thursday, Jan. 18, and will hold its first classes at 11 a.m.
All classes scheduled to begin at 11 a.m. or later will meet. If a class starts before 11 a.m. the class will not meet.
http://www.utexas.edu/emergency/
a funny
From craigslist.
Dear Crazy-As-Bat-Shit-Lady:
I am honored that you chose my ad for a mini fridge out of all the ads you could have chosen. It makes me feel good that my mini fridge will be supplying you with the ice cold beverages you've obviously become accustomed to.
Next time you answer one of my ads, please note the following:
1. I am not Home Depot. If you travel thirty minutes to pick up a bulky 40-pound object, please come prepared with the necessary items you'll need to secure it to your vehicle. Yes, I have rope. I have a lot of rope. I have many different colors and sizes of rope. No, you can not have my rope. The ad said I was selling a fridge, not a fridge with rope. Nor was I selling a fridge with padding so that the pleather seats on your piece of crap car don't get marked up.
2. What part of 'buyer must pick up' in the ad was confusing to you? Yes, I have a vehicle. No, I don't want to haul your fridge all the way to East BumbleFuck on the hottest day of the year. No, I'm really really sure I don't want to do that. No, really. I'm sure.
3. Please call me only once with ALL your questions. I left for the day, and had 5 messages on my answering machine, the last one was at 10:30 pm. Frankly lady, you were sounding a bit too crazy by the end of the day. It's a fridge. A small metal box that keeps shit cold. I don't have the fridge's family tree. For all I know the fridge's was conceived by a slutty young Maytag that graced some hillbilly's side porch. I don't know the exact age of the fridge. I bought it a few months ago, I used it for a couple of days, ok, I lied, I used it a whole week. The fact is, you're not buying a race horse, you're buying a used fridge.
4. No, I will not knock $10 bucks off the price of the fridge because your anal retentive eyes picked up the ittiest, bittiest hairline scratch from across my driveway. I'm not making judgements on you, but I'm pretty damn sure Donald Trump didn't send you across the country to pick up a used fridge for Trump Towers. Though I'd wager the whole concept of the mini-fridge bar is a familar one to you.
5. Yes, you can unplug a fridge without any harm to the fridge. Believe me, the fridge is fine. The manufacturers have figured out a way to extend the life of a fridge that has been unplugged. Yes, I'm absolutely sure of that. No, you did not have to leave 2 messages about your concerns with the fridge being unplugged, and frankly it was a little embarrassing having the same conversation with you in my driveway where my neighbors could hear.
6. No, I don't have the operating instructions. I can write them down for you though: Plug fridge in. Open door. Put crap inside. Take crap out when it's cold. Eat or drink crap.
7. I am not a fridge pimp. I don't have any more fridges at that price. No, I don't know where you can get another fridge at that price. Yes, I know it's in great condition for the price, and I'm sure you'd like your other crazy-as-bat-shit-mini-fridge-buying-friends to have one just like it, but this is all I have. Here's a thought, there's this online classified ads website. Yeah, you may have heard of it, it's called CRAIGSLIST. I dunno, maybe, just maybe, in this great land of ours, there's another mini-fridge being advertised there.
8. Please remove my phone number from your address book. I think our relationship is over. Oh, and if you've added me to your AIM Buddy List, please delete me. Please. I beg you.
Yours truly,
The mini-fridge seller
Dear Crazy-As-Bat-Shit-Lady:
I am honored that you chose my ad for a mini fridge out of all the ads you could have chosen. It makes me feel good that my mini fridge will be supplying you with the ice cold beverages you've obviously become accustomed to.
Next time you answer one of my ads, please note the following:
1. I am not Home Depot. If you travel thirty minutes to pick up a bulky 40-pound object, please come prepared with the necessary items you'll need to secure it to your vehicle. Yes, I have rope. I have a lot of rope. I have many different colors and sizes of rope. No, you can not have my rope. The ad said I was selling a fridge, not a fridge with rope. Nor was I selling a fridge with padding so that the pleather seats on your piece of crap car don't get marked up.
2. What part of 'buyer must pick up' in the ad was confusing to you? Yes, I have a vehicle. No, I don't want to haul your fridge all the way to East BumbleFuck on the hottest day of the year. No, I'm really really sure I don't want to do that. No, really. I'm sure.
3. Please call me only once with ALL your questions. I left for the day, and had 5 messages on my answering machine, the last one was at 10:30 pm. Frankly lady, you were sounding a bit too crazy by the end of the day. It's a fridge. A small metal box that keeps shit cold. I don't have the fridge's family tree. For all I know the fridge's was conceived by a slutty young Maytag that graced some hillbilly's side porch. I don't know the exact age of the fridge. I bought it a few months ago, I used it for a couple of days, ok, I lied, I used it a whole week. The fact is, you're not buying a race horse, you're buying a used fridge.
4. No, I will not knock $10 bucks off the price of the fridge because your anal retentive eyes picked up the ittiest, bittiest hairline scratch from across my driveway. I'm not making judgements on you, but I'm pretty damn sure Donald Trump didn't send you across the country to pick up a used fridge for Trump Towers. Though I'd wager the whole concept of the mini-fridge bar is a familar one to you.
5. Yes, you can unplug a fridge without any harm to the fridge. Believe me, the fridge is fine. The manufacturers have figured out a way to extend the life of a fridge that has been unplugged. Yes, I'm absolutely sure of that. No, you did not have to leave 2 messages about your concerns with the fridge being unplugged, and frankly it was a little embarrassing having the same conversation with you in my driveway where my neighbors could hear.
6. No, I don't have the operating instructions. I can write them down for you though: Plug fridge in. Open door. Put crap inside. Take crap out when it's cold. Eat or drink crap.
7. I am not a fridge pimp. I don't have any more fridges at that price. No, I don't know where you can get another fridge at that price. Yes, I know it's in great condition for the price, and I'm sure you'd like your other crazy-as-bat-shit-mini-fridge-buying-friends to have one just like it, but this is all I have. Here's a thought, there's this online classified ads website. Yeah, you may have heard of it, it's called CRAIGSLIST. I dunno, maybe, just maybe, in this great land of ours, there's another mini-fridge being advertised there.
8. Please remove my phone number from your address book. I think our relationship is over. Oh, and if you've added me to your AIM Buddy List, please delete me. Please. I beg you.
Yours truly,
The mini-fridge seller
1.16.2007
so nice they did it twice
Cancel classes that is.
Click here, since the email hasn't gone out yet.
This means, that (assuming the weather lets up tomorrow sometime) I will have only once day of classes this week. Hardily seems worth the effort.
Click here, since the email hasn't gone out yet.
This means, that (assuming the weather lets up tomorrow sometime) I will have only once day of classes this week. Hardily seems worth the effort.
Are you still wrong if you end up being right?
Did you ever have one of those things that you kept telling yourself so much you accepted it as true regardless of where you got the information originally? Eventually you don’t even know that you are wrong and you don’t bother checking what you should have checked weeks ago.
That happened to me. For some reason, I thought classes started on the 17th. I’d told all my friends and family, as well as potential employers that. I’d accepted that, and even made a full day of plans for the 16th. It wasn’t until I saw this that I checked this.
As you can see, my semester is of to a fine start. Either that, or over the Christmas break I’ve become clairvoyant.
That happened to me. For some reason, I thought classes started on the 17th. I’d told all my friends and family, as well as potential employers that. I’d accepted that, and even made a full day of plans for the 16th. It wasn’t until I saw this that I checked this.
As you can see, my semester is of to a fine start. Either that, or over the Christmas break I’ve become clairvoyant.
1.08.2007
1.06.2007
1.05.2007
Grades
It appears that grades have started to trickle in. And, no matter how much I swear not to do it, I compulsively check my grades at least daily. I don’t know why I do this since I already know what they are going to be.
In law school I have received 11 grades so far, and, with one exception, all my grades have been +/- .33 of my median grade. In fact, my first semester my GPA was X, my second was X+.04, and right now it is X+.02 (although I still have two more grades to look forward to). Based on this, I must now make two assumptions: (1) grades aren’t really as arbitrary as I initially thought and (2) I have found my spot on the curve and I ain’t goin’ nowhere.
I have come to accept this. No matter how hard I study (or slack) and no matter how much (or little) effort I put forward, I am no batter than a GPA of X.
Acceptance, as I’ve mentioned before, is the final stage of grief.
By the way, this is post Number 100 on this site.
In law school I have received 11 grades so far, and, with one exception, all my grades have been +/- .33 of my median grade. In fact, my first semester my GPA was X, my second was X+.04, and right now it is X+.02 (although I still have two more grades to look forward to). Based on this, I must now make two assumptions: (1) grades aren’t really as arbitrary as I initially thought and (2) I have found my spot on the curve and I ain’t goin’ nowhere.
I have come to accept this. No matter how hard I study (or slack) and no matter how much (or little) effort I put forward, I am no batter than a GPA of X.
Acceptance, as I’ve mentioned before, is the final stage of grief.
By the way, this is post Number 100 on this site.
1.01.2007
(no title)
I hope all had a great Christmas. Sorry for not posting the ubiquitious “Merry Christmas” post, but I just didn’t get a chance.
I did have a little something to say about the current state of Christmas carols. Enya has taken the award for most depressing Christmas carol with her rendition of “We Wish You A Merry Christmas.” Call up Alanis Morissette because that’s ironic. Before this song came along the award was held by John Lennon with “Happy Xmas (War Is Over).” While that may sound on it surface to be a nice cheery song about Christmas and peace, I just can’t get over the opening line: "So this is Christmas, and what have you done?" I feel like bursting into tears a screaming, well what the Hell have you done? Yes, I’m a loser and I haven’t managed to do anything significant this year! I don’t need your song to remind me.
I did have a little something to say about the current state of Christmas carols. Enya has taken the award for most depressing Christmas carol with her rendition of “We Wish You A Merry Christmas.” Call up Alanis Morissette because that’s ironic. Before this song came along the award was held by John Lennon with “Happy Xmas (War Is Over).” While that may sound on it surface to be a nice cheery song about Christmas and peace, I just can’t get over the opening line: "So this is Christmas, and what have you done?" I feel like bursting into tears a screaming, well what the Hell have you done? Yes, I’m a loser and I haven’t managed to do anything significant this year! I don’t need your song to remind me.
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