Longhorn "football"

This week’s game Sucked. Sucked big. And it rained.

For the life of me I can’t figure out what the heck Mack brown is thinking. I know this is college ball, but can we fire Colt. He’s can’t throw, he can’t run, but he sure as hell can take a concussion. And what’s up with special teams? Are they really “special”? Returning not only a kick-off, but also a punt, for a touchdown is unacceptable.

I am genuinely afraid of next week and I don’t even know if I have the nerve to watch.

On a related note, after the game I needed a drink. So I hit a local watering hole to try and wash the idea of a 20 point loss away. After several rounds, none of which seemed to help, I gave up and decided to call it a night.

I walked out into the parking lot looking for my car, when I saw a guy looking pretty depressed. He was sitting on the curb of the parking lot without a friend in the world. He was next to my car so I couldn’t avoid him. By the time I got to my car, I saw it was Colt McCoy.

He looked up at me: “Why did it have to rain? I could have done better, but why was it raining?”
I explained to him as though he were a child: “It rained because God was crying.”
Colt wiped a lone tear from his cheek and asked: “Why was God crying?”
I took a knee next to him, put my hand on his shoulder, looked him square in the eye, and told him the honest truth: “Because he saw the way you were playing.”

I went home thinking I had at least done a little bit of good.

westlaw still sucks

I was researching some state cases and came across a weird abbreviation in a citation I'd never seen before. I searched and searched and searched, but couldn't find what the abbreviation stood for, but I saw it had been used literally thousands of times. I gave up and decided to click that little Help box and asked for the live researcher support. I posed my question: what did this abbreviation stand for. This was the answer I got:

Thanks westlaw. Thank you very much.

My new favorite punctuation mark

I don't think I ever had an old one, but my favorite one is now the interrobang.

Reward: 1 beer to any 1L who uses one in their final LRLW memo.

NFL

I usually don't comment on NFL games, but today was a rare day that my two favorite teams lined up: the Chicago Bears and Whoever's Playing the Cowboys.

I'm double disappointed.

Texas Football

Finally. It's about Texas performed well. I admit, when Texas fumbled the ball after only 11 second of play, I was scared, but 58 points later, all (most) was forgiven. It was a pretty entertaining game. I think the best thing Rice put on the field was The Mob. While I can't say I like the "7" formation and the underlying joke, the Michael Vick stuff was great.

Here's a good summary of the game.

UT v. Rice

Will the Horns show up for the game? For the whole game? We'll see.

What does a $15 whore look like?

Take your pick gentlemen:


Yes, for the low low price of $30, you can have this mother/daughter team. Read the story.

As for the story, I have to ask, was it really necessary to include "the majority of the Duncan’s clientele was believed to be Hispanics"? Seriously, does it matter the race of the Johns?

Ahoy!

Yar! Avast ye maties. Tis Cap’n Ex.Coll, here remindin’ ye all that today be Talk Like a Pirate Day. Make sure ye be talking like a pirate all day when ye be called on in class or when ye be knowin the answer. I’ll see any dirty landlubber in Davy Jones’s locker if ye don’t.

Should ye see any bloddy landlubber who don’t be speakin like a pirate, make em walk the plank!

funny

To any Star Wars fans out there who have not seen Robot Chicken, I give you:

More Law Mail Ass-Kissing

"Once again, Dean Sager has generously agreed to sponsor airfare for five students to attend the Career Fair."

So is our fearless dean now writing all the law mails that are sent out?

Yea, I know, I'm probably beating a dead horse. I'll try and stop posting about this.

Law Mail

Cleaning out the old law mail box and came across these two gems:
......................
"I am delighted to announce that, due solely to the efforts of our Dean Larry Sager, Professor Burt Neuborne, a Professor at the NYU School of Law, has agreed to fly to Austin to teach federal courts here in the spring."

What, no mention on whatever role our fearless dean had in running off our current Fed. Courts prof.?

......................
"Environmental Health and Safety (EHS) and the Office of the Vice President for Employee and Campus Services (ECS) want to remind you that Austin has a significant bat population, and though they're really cute--bats are considered a high-rabies risk species and should NEVER be touched."

I think that's the best piece of advice I can give to all you 1Ls. I touched a bat once, but only because it was really cute. Sure it was fun, in retrospect, contracting rabies was probably too high a price to pay.

RIP

I’m glad I had the opportunity to see Pavarotti the last time he came to Texas. It was a fantastic show. It was right around the time he announced his “retirement” and his multi-year farewell tour. The sad thing about it was that the show was far from a sellout, so in order to make the audience appear to be bigger than it was, the venue closed off the upper levels and move the cheap bastards (like me) into the $100+ seats. Not bad for me, but the woman sitting next to me in the evening gown didn’t appear to be pleased.

Seeing this is making me regret my decision not to see Placido Domingo when he was in Texas during the summer.