More cleaning out the Law Mail

Law Mail group: Student Life

If you would like to learn some strategies for handling the stress associated with law school, please come to a Stress Management Workshop on Monday, October 23 from 3:30 until 4:15 in the Eidman Jury Room. The workshop will be facilitated by the UT Counseling Center. This session is limited to 15 students, first-come, first-served. If you want to participate, email Paula Taylor at ptaylor@law.utexas.edu.

Let’s just hope that there aren’t more than 15 people stressed out, otherwise people will be stressing out to figure out how to get into the workshop that tells them how to not to stress out. Or maybe, that’s the plan, stress them out so they crack now.

For those who will not be able to make it, I give you the Ex.Coll. 4 simple steps to stress-free finals:
1. Find your closest liquor store. Make sure to get to know the guy behind the counter, after all, you’ll be there a lot.
2. Buy alcohol. I have found that brown liquors work best, e.g. bourbon, scotch, aged rum. Of course there is the exception of vodka, I recommend Tito’s
3. Consume said alcohol. I suggest mixing at a rate of 50/50 mixer/alcohol. This can continue until your knowledge of Contracts/CivPro/Torts/Property/ConLaw is so immense that you find it difficult to walk a straight line, find your nose, or speak coherently. At that point, dispense with the mixing and drink the alcohol straight until it becomes to cumbersome to pour. Commence drinking straight from the bottle.
4. Repeat. Repeat nightly until finals are over and grades have been posted. Once grades have been posted, you should then decide whether this therapy should continue.